Who I Am NOW

I am not the woman I once was.

I’m different.

Some days I think I’m even better.

Life after 50 has changed me in ways I never imagined.

Yes, I admit there are days when I look in the mirror and try to will away my crow’s feet. But, as I get older, those days happen less and less.

More often, I smile, which brings them out even more. And that’s when I think of them as my “life lines”—those joyful crinkles that show themselves when I’m tuned in to who I am NOW.

When I was younger the feeling of invincibility was like a cloak wrapped tightly around me, giving me the courage to forge ahead. And I had no reason to believe anything would change.

But then a few years ago when I turned 50, I felt as though someone yanked that cloak right off me and replaced it with the dreaded “cloak of invisibility.”

I felt ignored, marginalized, and desexualized. The media messages kept telling me that youth was better, and aging was like a disease to cure. Did you feel that way, too?

I realized there were three paths I could take:

  1. Do everything possible to look younger
  2. Run for the hills and stay there
  3. Embrace my age and love who I am NOW.

After turning 50 and doing some deep breathing and heavy thinking, I took control, got fit, ate better, dressed with style, got more sleep, started a new career, wrote a book, ran in the NYC Marathon, decided to live without fear, reinvigorated my marriage, became a better role model for my daughters, and--in other words--completely embraced the power of positive living.

I will always be grateful to my younger self. It was this person who led to who I am NOW.

And who I am now is the woman I want to be.